I have heard it said, “No one can hurt you without your permission.” It makes logical sense. We are in control of our own feelings.
But is it really possible? Can someone say or do something that hurts you so bad you cannot help but to feel the pain to your very core?
I am teaching Lizzie how to recognize when someone says something false, and how to react when she knows it is not true. For example, she came crying to me in tears because Mycah said she was a “little kid.” I told her she knows she is not little, so she should tell Mycah how wrong she is and then play something else. We practiced this by me calling her a puppy dog. “No mommy, I am not a puppy dog. You are wrong.”
Pointing to the chair, “Lizzie, this is a tree!”
“No mommy, you are wrong. That is not a tree!” Giggling.
Off she runs to tell Mycah she is wrong and they play happily together.
Don’t you wish life was that easy? It can be in some instances. Some people might try and make me doubt my abilities as a mother. To them, I laugh and say, “No, you are wrong! I am a wonderful mother!”
Other times somebody might do something that hurts my feelings. Instead of wallowing in my pain (which is usually misunderstandings taken way overboard) I can tell my emotions, “No! You are wrong. He did not hurt me intentionally. Go talk to him and figure this out.”
What is truly ironic is that I tell myself worse lies and hurt myself more than anyone ever does. When I snap at Lizzie for screaming shrilly in the house, my guilt tells me lies. I need to tell myself, “No! You are wrong!”
I believe in lots of cases, we have control over our own pain and misery. When the morning starts off in all the most stressful ways, we need to strangle the negativity and shout, “No! You are wrong! The entire day is not ruined! It will get better. I will make it better.”
What are you telling “No!” to today?
Oh, just the mere thought of what I’m saying “no” to today has me on the brink of quivering lip and stupid fricken tears, so. Yeah. That.
Oh Lisa! You are such a strong woman! I admire you so much! (hugs)
I think we are definitely our worst critics and second guessers!
Yes we are. And that is why I have to practice telling myself “No! You are wrong!” LOL
Thank you so much for this post! This applies to pretty much everything. Like whenever I have a lesson not go too well and I thought I prepared for it I begin to doubt my teaching abilities and start to think I will NEVER be a good teacher. However I then realize how silly that thought is, learn from my mistakes, and make my next lesson better. 🙂
Yes, we tell lies to ourselves so much. It is so much better to realize when you are lying to yourself and move forward 🙂 (easier said than done? you bet)
This is an amazing post- I Have to be honest there are many days in which I have to tell myself NO! This post is inspiring.
Thank you ninja! I am so glad you found it to be inspiring! I have so much experience with this topic. It hits so close to home.
I hate when mornings are stressful & I’m yelling at my kids. I feel like that day is already over & I’ve lost. But you’re right, we don’t HAVE to give in to it. Thanks for that post!
It really is hard when the day starts out that way. I’ve had to go to my room and audibly tell myself, “this does NOT mean the entire day is ruined. Start over!” LOL!! oh those are hard though.
Today? Today I will be saying “NO, just because your baby didn’t take a nap this afternoon doesn’t mean your whole day is ruined”
Hoping it will work. But I’m also relying on the baby and his behavior! HA!
I agree but it is so hard when the day starts out with a grumpy toddler and a crying baby! I just have to keep telling myself that it will get better, I will miss these days when they are little some day.