I have heard it said, “No one can hurt you without your permission.” It makes logical sense. We are in control of our own feelings.
But is it really possible? Can someone say or do something that hurts you so bad you cannot help but to feel the pain to your very core?
I am teaching Lizzie how to recognize when someone says something false, and how to react when she knows it is not true. For example, she came crying to me in tears because Mycah said she was a “little kid.” I told her she knows she is not little, so she should tell Mycah how wrong she is and then play something else. We practiced this by me calling her a puppy dog. “No mommy, I am not a puppy dog. You are wrong.”
Pointing to the chair, “Lizzie, this is a tree!”
“No mommy, you are wrong. That is not a tree!” Giggling.
Off she runs to tell Mycah she is wrong and they play happily together.
Don’t you wish life was that easy? It can be in some instances. Some people might try and make me doubt my abilities as a mother. To them, I laugh and say, “No, you are wrong! I am a wonderful mother!”
Other times somebody might do something that hurts my feelings. Instead of wallowing in my pain (which is usually misunderstandings taken way overboard) I can tell my emotions, “No! You are wrong. He did not hurt me intentionally. Go talk to him and figure this out.”
What is truly ironic is that I tell myself worse lies and hurt myself more than anyone ever does. When I snap at Lizzie for screaming shrilly in the house, my guilt tells me lies. I need to tell myself, “No! You are wrong!”
I believe in lots of cases, we have control over our own pain and misery. When the morning starts off in all the most stressful ways, we need to strangle the negativity and shout, “No! You are wrong! The entire day is not ruined! It will get better. I will make it better.”
What are you telling “No!” to today?