I have a gift guide FULL of gifts that would make any age group excited to receive. But I thought, just for fun, I’d put together a list of things you might not want to give this holiday season. You can if you want, but I am not responsible for the results!
Nothing says, “man, you reek!” like getting a cute little gift pack full of odor-eliminating products. I seriously doubt there is a way to give deodorant that isn’t insulting. Unless, of course, it is a funny gift exchange. Even then, you will get an eyebrow-raised at your gift of choice.
2. Underwear for your mom
There is no way to do this correctly. You either guess at her size and too big – you are calling her fat, too small and she feels fat for not being that size. You can’t go safe – it will make her feel “old.” And going the sexy route? Yeah, awkward! Just avoid at all costs.
3. Bioidentical Hormones for your sister
This gift just screams, “Hi sis! I noticed you are going through menopause and these will help those hot flashes!” The room will go silent. Her face will be red, and not just from the hot flash.
4. A gift card for one free counseling session
There might be that one person in your life that drives you batty. That person that you know could benefit from a counseling session or 10. But to go down to a clinic and purchase a gift certificate? You are better off just moving to another city.
5. Stool Softeners
It doesn’t make you go, it makes it easier to go! How totally thoughtful, right? I have a feeling whoever gets this gift won’t be enjoying the fact that you were thinking of their rectum and stools.
6. Monster Energy drinks for young children
You might be snickering all the way home, thinking of how in the world those parents are going to deal with those kids. But I can promise you one thing – you will not like the payback that comes from intentionally energizing young children!
7. Anything of opposing religious/political views
Do you have an Obama supporter? I doubt they want Sarah Palin’s newest book. Or if your relative is an athiest, giving them religious tracts might not go over so well. There is a huge difference between ironic and just downright offensive or annoying.
8. Toilet Paper
I am cracking up at this! They also have Sarah Palin and Obama toilet paper! But see reason #7 for avoiding those. These are kinda funny, but again – buying gifts that are in any way related to poop? Not such a wonderful idea.
9. Brazilian Wax Gift certificate
Seriously, what would you say if you got one? “Gee, thanks! I’m so flattered that you think of the grooming needs of my hair down there!” Scary. And awkward.
10. Loud, annoying kid’s toys
Payback is a witch. If you get a toy that gives the parents migraines, you better believe your child will be getting one even worse at the next birthday. Don’t start this war, you don’t want to go there.