This guest post is from my friend Jessica Cohen from Found the Marbles. It had me giggling. If you don’t like sarcastic humor, then skip this entirely. She sure changed her uncomfortable flight into a post that others (I am sure) can laugh with and relate to!
Recently our family flew from Philadelphia to Orlando for vacation. On the way to the airport my husband and I talked to the kids briefly about airplane etiquette, a simple reminder of being respectful and quiet so they do not disrupt the other passengers.
Then we got to the gate. Right in front of us what the family ever passenger dreads. Let’s just say that there was no need to talk to our kids about what not to do after all, because they got to see it first hand from the family three rows in front of us. There were two families, each with a corresponding set of grandparents.
In case you were wondering, the following is a description of what NOT to do with your child on an airplane. If you recognize yourself in any of the following, please, I beg of you, do not fly on an airplane with others.
- Allow your child to decide who will sit in which seat. Wait patiently and block the other passengers while she decides from your entire crew of twelve who will sit where. When you have finally given in to her preferences and settled into your re-assigned seats, succumb to her again when she changes her mind.
- Put her two year old brother in a seat up front by himself because his ticket says that is where he should be seated and the seat assignor (see above) has agreed. Then, instead of asking a passenger to change or ask the staff for assistance, state clearly how you are going to be writing a letter to the airline about their mistake.
- Let your child scream, “We’re Flyyyyyying!!” every fifteen seconds for the first five minutes after takeoff.
- Blatantly ignore the rest of the passengers who are saying, “Shhhhh” at a decibel level that is very obviously meant for you and your loud child. Instead, continue to think that it is the most adorable thing ever when she is the only one screaming on an airplane full of people with eardrums.
- When she is finally quiet for a few consecutive minutes, give her a DVD to watch without headphones and make sure to have the volume turned all the way up.
- Be sure to have your mother (who also has the loud gene) get out of her seat to take snapshots of your little darling on her first airplane ride. (And speaking of Loud Grandma, let your mini seat dictator place her as far away as possible so she has to yell to your daughter several times during the trip.)
- If there is a brief period when your child is not disrupting the entire plane, get up and switch seats with your spouse, causing her to rewind back into a full on tantrum.
- Lastly, do not think twice about the fact that there are dozens of families with young children on the flight yet there is only one voice that is audible to everyone for two and a half hours.
And there you have it, folks. What not to do with your child on an airplane. Any questions?
You forgot one important tip that my daughter illustrated on our last trip. “Don’t forget to open and shut the window shade. Doing so in a quick, repeated fashion is a great chance to test the elasticity of the fabric.”
LOL!! And I am sure the sound is a wonderful way to make people around you enjoy a quiet, peaceful trip 😉
That’s a great one!
Now this sounds terrible. Luckily I do not recognize myself or my immediate family members in any of those bullet points.
I totally understand trying to make the flight fun for a young child – but isn’t there a line where teaching manners is also important?
It sounds like you have taught your kids well!
Oh what a headache! Why do people do these kinds of things? It’s just so inconsiderate.
People like that should come with a warning sign, don’t you think??
LOL! The highlight to my morning. Seriously though, great tips.
Thanks, Kristin! The only thing that got me through the flight was knowing that I could turn the experience into a blog post!
Planes should come with a kid’s section in a sound proof room with lots of toys and benadryl. 😉
that is the best idea EVER!!!
Amen to that!
I have been seated around both the excellent behaved child and the poorly behaved! If only everyone listened to these rules 🙂
it is amazing how much more pleasant a ride with a content child is. Night and day! I understand trying to make a plane ride pleasant for a strong-willed child….but they also must learn how to respect others on the plane….
Thanks, Kristina. If only they did!
Oh my, that list is definitely things you do not want to do with your family on a plane. Yikes!
Yikes was right, Lolo!
Being a frequent flyer we have experienced a lot. And there have been a few times when my kids were the one’s having meltdowns. I know meltdowns are different then blatant rudeness but they still suck lol.
One thing that I always remind my kids of no matter how many times they’ve flown is to NOT kick the persons seat in front of you.
Shana, that is a great one. My younger son tried a few times to use the seat in front of him for leverage to pull himself back into his seat. I had to remind him not to do that so he didn’t kick the person in front of him.
Oh boy! As a frequent passenger with young kids, I was always hyper-vigilant about teaching the kids manners and etiquette. First step here usually included removing their shoes, so if (and when) they did bump the seat in front of them… the impact would be minimal.
It sounds like the adults in the family were raising the kids to be just as conscientious to those around them as they were – which is to say, not at all!
The upside here, though, is that *your* kids probably came out of the trip looking EXTRA angelic! 😉
There were probably 20 kids on the plane and only one did we hear a peep from the whole trip, but if you are calling my kids angelic I’ll take it!!!
Thanks for the giggles. Unfortunately there seems to be that family on every flight I’ve taken. They give other families bad cred and fodder for commercials.
Oh no. Every flight???
OMG I have never heard a passenger audibly shush a child… even the crazy ones!
With absolutely no shame I admit that I have given my child a DVD play turned to full volume with no headphones. Our DVD player could barely be heard above the noise of the plane, and while I know that the persons next to us could hear it, I thought it was a better alternative than a screaming child.
If you could barely hear it, then it wasn’t all that loud. But if my friend could hear it, I bet this family’s player had better speakers than yours. In which case, some headphones might have been nice. Then again, that little girl might have just shouted with them on LOL 🙂
Yikes, sounds like a very trying experience. I would be very interested to know if the little girl in this story was just bossy, or if she was on the Autism spectrum. Judging by everyone’s overindulgence of her will and the volatility of her attitude she could have been… But then again, she could have just been a spoiled brat who needed to be told no more often. Therein lies the challenge. How does one handle that sort of situation? It’s not easy on either side.
I can pretty much promise you that the author of this post is able to recognize autism. And honestly, she would not have written this post if it was only a little girl that was being loud. It was the entire family that was being rude – failure to ask if the 2 yo could sit with the family, changing seats with the spouse when everything is peaceful, the grandmother being loud during photo time. Autism is one thing – a disregard for the feelings of others is another 😉
I was terrified of how my daughter would act on her first flight. thank goodness she did so well(especially for a 10 month old), BUT I have to add that there were badly behaved kids all around us! The ones behind were constantly kicking our seats and the 3 ahead were taking turns the entire flight climbing over seats and running(screaming) up and down the aisles and locking themselves in the bathrooms and galley, while mom was sleeping and dad was zoned into watching tv! Also, it is great that you care enough about your child’s safety to bring a car seat for them to sit in on the flight, but for everyone’s benefit, please make sure they fit the requirements before getting into an argument with the attendant and ask to be put on the flight first or last so you can install them without singlehandedly delaying takeoff