& Why I run on coffee and wine and insanity
I have a full time job at a place I adore. Honestly and truly. It blesses my family with an income and health benefits and I am incredibly thankful! In fact, earlier this year I searched for this exact job because older children are way more expensive than babies.
So there I was, settling into my new job. And I thought, “I’ll slowly retire from the blog world.” I didn’t need to make it my income anymore, what a relief!
But I can’t stop. I’m a writer. I must sit here at my computer and write. I love sharing stories and opening my emotional thoughts upon this wordpress blog.
Has anyone actually found it? I drop one thing and then BAM! 3 more hop in my lap. I realize by now that I am the only one that can control my serenity and contentment. And ironically, I am the happiest when I am juggling too much because it makes me feel excited and tired in a good “I earned it” tired.
When I stay up too late working on my blog after patiently spending time with my children instead of forcing them to bed, the next morning requires coffee. More than the alertness it brings, it also brings community. When I feel frustrated or fidgety at my cubicle, I walk to the coffee shop and share a smile and encouraging chatter with my friends.
Ok, I should actually just change that to alcohol, but wine sounds so much more refined and elegant. But give me a vodka cocktail with my girlfriends or a glass of wine with my husband and I’m happy. I feel like that one drink at the end of the day just eases my stress, helps me not keep replaying my eleventy-billion things to do in my head.
This is my little secret. The best part of taking too much onto my plate is leaving it behind. This is another reason I take too much on. Because if I don’t take too much on, and I actually schedule in free time, it doesn’t feel nearly as rewarding. There is something liberating about tossing that to-do list in the trash and running out the door. Even if I am just leaving dirty dishes in the sink and going to town by myself.
What Type Are You?
Are you like me, taking on way too much but enjoying it? Or are you disciplined enough to stay within your scheduled limits? I’m pretty content with my controlled chaos at the moment, and willing to change if I have to.