In a relationship, when one person uses a substance, it’s not uncommon for the partner to join them to hold onto the other person. But what begins as an attempt to connect through similar interests will always turn into harmful, damaging behavior.

The effects of drug addiction vary by person. As one person recognizes their outside and intimate relationships suffering and their partner becoming more addicted, they will likely begin to try to get sober, possibly even mentioning drug rehab for couples. This will cause a rift as the other partner gets upset that their mutual habit is now becoming a cause of arguments.

Eventually, what became a way to connect will be the thing that pushes your romantic relationship to its end. But this doesn’t have to be the case for you and your partner. If the two of you can work together to understand the dangers of addiction in your love life, you may be able to successfully quit and build a stronger relationship without substance use as part of it.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Watch any movie or read any realistic fiction book, and you’ll see that relationships are never 100% smooth sailing. There are always complications, whether they’re within the two of you or from external stimuli.

In a healthy relationship, the couple overcomes these challenges by using positive strategies and working together. They are truthful, discussing their thoughts and hopes rather than hiding them or arguing. Healthy couples know how to enjoy each other’s company, have fun in ways they both feel are the right type of risky, and are able to be happy with and without the other person.

Most importantly, they feel safe communicating with each other and being in the other person’s presence because there’s no abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual) and no violence. These are things that often creep up in a relationship centered around addiction.

The Unhealthy Side of Addictions and Relationships

No matter how much you love the other person, when drugs and alcohol take charge, your brain loves the substance more.

This shift in your priorities makes it difficult to handle the challenges your relationship faces healthily. Instead, your focus becomes getting a hold of and using the substance. One or both of you will start to let the important things in your relationship slide. And when one of you decides you’ve had enough and you want a substance-free relationship, it’s unlikely the other partner will agree at the same time.

What happens next is a cycle of secrecy as the other person tries to hide their substance use. They may lie to their partner about where they’re going, who they’re going with, and what they did that day. Money will begin to go missing, and the two of you will begin to argue more without a healthy resolution.

These lies lead to trust issues between partners, which can quickly slide into violence, especially if the substance involved is alcohol, meth, cocaine, steroids, or any prescription stimulant.

Stop the Habit Early

Before your relationship hits this brick wall at an accelerated speed, talk to your partner about the concerns you have. Let them know you understand that right now, the habit is “fun,” but you can see the signs of a downward slide.

While the two of you are still able to rationally discuss your decisions, it’s a good time to suggest rehab or support groups for couples quitting an addiction. And if they begin to act like this article says, you know that you’ve done the right thing in saving yourself. You don’t have to leave them behind, but when you’re sober, you are more likely to be able to help them better.