I’m going to let you in on a few secrets. Well, a secret implies you shouldn’t tell, and that isn’t entirely accurate.
I guess I am just going to share a few things about myself that maybe you did not know.
And I hope you will reciprocate in the comments. You are my good friends, people I enjoy sharing with. And I would love to hear back from you.
I struggle with not feeling good enough
I know I am a wonderful mother and a supportive and loving wife. But there are moments throughout the day when the kids won’t nap and then get super cranky at 6pm, the house is messy that I feel like the day was a failure. I was a failure. Add pregnancy hormones to the mix and you have a cocktail that will bring tears to my eyes quicker than a Nicholas Sparks book. I am working on this. I find joy in the small victories throughout the day. The mountain of laundry is now a mere hamperful! I transferred the towels to the dryer before they started to mildew! Lizzie randomly snuggles with me on the couch and lightly kisses a bruise on my arm, making my owie all better. These treasures usually over shadow any self-worth issues, unless I chose to focus on my shortcomings. Which I must stop doing!
I shock myself with how capable I really am
I know my strengths. I’ve been told my entire life I am a writer and that is all I ever dreamed I would be. Ok, perhaps a well loved published author that had a calender full of speaking gigs too. Yes, I am a writer and it heals my soul when I write. But I have conquered some huge obstacles in my life I never thought I would! For example, I am able to be a mother that doesn’t lose her cool 90% of the time and I have a pretty happy home. For years I thought I could never be a mother, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle a child (let alone 3!) without yelling and screaming all of the time and giving them painful whoppins’. But here I am! The kids are clean and sleeping peacefully. Bedtime was not a screaming death match, it went amazingly smoothly. The house is only slightly junky with only a small bit of dishes in the sink.
I can work at any job and please the boss but put me as a stay at home mom and I am all kinds of confused. It doesn’t help that at a job there is an employee handbook you follow. Clear cut and precise. Being a mom you get advice from all ends of the parenting spectrum and worry that you will ruin your children for life and they won’t be “normal” like the other children at school (who have moms just as overwhelmed as you, they just fake it better).
But I am doing it and not failing! In fact I think my children are turning out very well.
Please tell me ~ do you struggle with these same things?
What victories have you overcome in your life you never thought possible?