All I want is…
If only I had….
then maybe I’d be a bit less stressed out and in a better place mentally.
I’ve gone over the answers to that question countless times in the last year. I was earning an income from my blog and freelance writing, Lizzie was in school and ballet, and I was trying to get fit. But then the house was falling apart. So I took on less blogging and focused on the home. But then I started to fritz emotionally. So I got a job out of the home. But then I missed my kids and the stress of working for someone else full time away from my family affected my every action. I began to make mistakes and my attitude was failing.
I struggle with satisfaction and contentment. It kinda goes hand in hand with my weakness for comparing myself to others. In fact, it is directly related to it. The more I look at friends and their ______ the more I am unsatisfied with my _______. Every. time.
The good news is, I am not nearly as bad at the comparing game as I used to be. The older I get and the closer to 30 I am, the more I am focused on finding what works for my family, not concerning myself with how others achieve results.
I am making my own results. And to do so, I must pray and allow God to give me wisdom for that day. I have a vision for where I see my family and my writing. I have always been goal-oriented and I have my long term goals and short term goals. My gel-pens are constantly doodling dreams on my desk calendar. (Often covered by crayon-markings from my little dreamers!)
Life will happen. My choice is how gracious and joyful will I choose to be about the innumerable blessings I was given today? For if I am not happy and able to create a joyous life with my current blessings, how can I be expected to handle more?