You are a wonderful mom.
You are a wonderful mom.
You are a FABULOUS MOM.
I chant to myself over and over today.
Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit on the couch, coffee in hand, breathing deep and dreaming of a quiet, tidy house? I had that moment today for about 10 seconds. Then sweet Lucy came up with a yellow plastic gingerbread man saying “Mommy, will you play Candy Lane wit me? Please?”
I put my coffee down, smile, take another deep breath, and organize the playing cards.
“Lucy, first we need to pick up the living room! There is no where to play!” Which is met with a pout from the three year old. I roll my eyes and pick up the stuff around us so I can get back to playing as quickly as possible.
I have this awful demon in my head. You know how everyone struggles with that one thing? That one thing that you don’t like to admit to struggling with cause you know it is wrong, but it is still there, and you fight it every day. I have her. Little miss judgement who says “mothers are chosen by God. You must serve your family by putting them first. This house of yours? It is atrocious! (Yes she uses that word. I think she’s a snob). Your family deserves better! And your children, it is your responsibility to train them to keep their toys tidy, to teach them self-discipline. What are you doing if this is not being taken care of?”
I immediately tell that liar to shut up. A messy house does not a failure of a mom make.
In the cleanest corner of the living room, we play a rousing game of Candy Land. Then she dresses up in her new play dresses, and David asks for a drink of water. I ask him if apple juice is ok since our pipes are frozen and we don’t have water.
Nope, no water.
So not only has at least one member of our family been sick since Christmas Eve, we have no water. Thankfully we have plenty of leftovers and other things to drink. Plus, we have a spicket out by the chicken coop so I can bring in buckets of ice cold water for the toilet.
Life could definitely be worse.
After Candy Land and juice, I feel it again. That desire to scream. A child picks up a phone and plays the same game with that same annoying music. Then another turns on My Little Pony. The constant noise, the high pitched tones, they pound against my skull like fingernails on chalk board.
“No more electronics! Play with your new toys, your old toys, I don’t care!”
Sometimes in life, there is no quick, easy fix. Life is messy and you just get through the hard days one challenge at a time. So I silence the negativity, focus on the tiny blessings, breath deep and live. Only 2 more days until school starts again. Two more days until peace.