Authentically As Annie

Lately, I’ve received more invitations to have coffee with friends than I ever have before. It isn’t because I rose in their esteem or anything. It’s because I have the juiciest secret. People are suddenly insatiably curious. Some have faux compassion, others seem to be afraid for me, thinking their way is the only way to live. 

You see, I’m getting a divorce. 

And even “worse” – I’m in love. 

I’ve endured hours of advice. Every single time I attempt to pour my heart out, hoping the person listening will see the pain I endured and understand why I had to make this decision. 

Oh yes – that’s the best part. I made the decision to divorce. 

I am exhausted from trying to fit into a life that caused me immense pain. I’m sick of working hard to follow the “rules,” hoping those “rules” would stop afflicting me and crushing my spirit. 

I’m ready to finally soar on the wings of God’s freedom and grace. And I am especially more than ready to live authentically as Annie. 

It is time to truly embrace a life of abundant, genuine, joy.  I am not talking about happiness or perfection. In fact, I’m talking about living without the fear of failure but the appreciation of it. To jump at my dreams and learn when I fall down. 

I feel I must pause here and address the looming question on everyone’s mind: what about your children? 

This entire post is about me because I am keeping my experience with them private. I am protecting them from the public discussion. Thank you. 

My blog posts here will be more about how I am living Authentically as Annie and less about how I wish I was or how I want you to think I am. You may not approve. You might think you know my way better than I do. But the only way I can find peace is to trust God, my own soul, and allow a few close trusted people near my heart. 

Love. 

It is growth. It is awakening. It is passion. It is trust. It is empowering. It is stable. It is full of hope and completely forgiving. Love is selfless and beautiful. 

I am in love with someone that is all of the above. 

I learned from my past. It taught me lessons. It shattered me, but didn’t destroy me. 

Now I am growing and loving and living Authentically as Annie.