This is such a tricky tight rope. Keeping your balance between giving of yourself and keeping enough resources to give to your home, husband and children and keeping enough to give to yourself.
As a Christian, I am taught to “do unto others” and “turn the other cheek.” But as the book “Boundaries” (by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend) so eloquently states, there are limits that must be respected.
And that my dear friends, is the tight rope we all so delicately walk. Constantly giving at every call. And the minute you start living for yourself, you fear you are falling into selfishness.
Where is that balance? How do you care for your emotional, mental and physical health – and that of your husband and children and house – without feeling like you are failing at caring for the world?
Is it possible that it is your own family that is most important at this brief season of life? That maybe feeling guilty for only giving selflessly to your husband, children and home should be totally dismantled?
I believe so. It is possible to give so much of yourself that you go on the brink of emotional instability.
Self-lost love is when you give and love and try and at the end of the day, you don’t have enough to give to those that need it most.
Selflessness is thinking of others before yourself. It is giving when a need arises and acting sacrificially.
Empowered giving is giving when you know what you have to give and knowing when you need to direct them to someone else that can help more. It is helping people by giving your best to them and giving the best of other resources to them when you know you do not have it. It is being a good steward of your emotional budget and not maxing out the credit card of sanity, so you always have more to give the next time.
Selfishness is the lack of giving and presence of self-fulfillment instead. It is not selfish to direct someone’s needs to available resources when you do not have it yourself. It is not selfish to give 100% to your husband, children, home and yourself and feel like you have nothing left to give others.